


The Absence of You

by VioletBehaviour



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Connections, Discord Comp, Discord: Dumbledore's Armada, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Friendship, Lord Byron Quote, Mature Theme No Smut, Memory Loss, Not letting go, Overcoming Obstacles, Post-War, Start Anew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:27:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25487740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletBehaviour/pseuds/VioletBehaviour
Summary: A picture holds memories that surpass the mind, but Blaise was determined not to give up.
Relationships: Colin Creevey/Astoria Greengrass (background), Colin Creevey/Blaise Zabini (friendship)
Comments: 24
Kudos: 19
Collections: Dumbledore's Armada: Wheel of Death Flash Fiction Comp





	The Absence of You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Wheel of Death Flash Fiction Comp hosted by Frumpologist in Dumbledore's Armada Discord Server. My chosen character was **Colin Creevey**. My Wheel of Death prompts were **Blaise Zabini** , **Memory Loss** , **Friendship, and **"Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey" -Lord Byron**. **
> 
> I’d like to thank my beta VinoAmore and everyone who wrote and read in the comp!

∞

It wasn’t supposed to be this easy. The memories buried under broken layers of a corrupted mind with one simple word. All he had to do was say it - and he would say it. Staring his friend in the face with desperation in his eyes, self inflicting his own wounds the longer he waited.

“Do it.” He was on his knees, his body trembling through the pain that reflected off his tawny brown eyes. He couldn’t determine whether the sobs he heard were his friend’s on the ground or his own, but the hurt was too much, the _loss_ will be too much.

“I’m sorry.”

∞

_Laughter surrounded him, a collaboration of what was once labeled as good and bad; right and wrong. They were friends - the lot of them, sitting together at a table in the back of an old muggle pub. The faint scent of Asoria’s perfume collided with the hops in Colin's beer as Blaise teased him on his other side. They’d overcome so much since the war, celebrating friendships made by means of mutual understanding._

_Colin had met Blaise in St Mungo’s, sharing a room as they held up beside one another with stitches and bruises. Blaise nearly lost his arm, a tragedy for his future plan of playing Quidditch. Luckily his recovery went far better than expected. Colin on the other hand had thrown himself into the pathway of a curse, a scared Astoria at his feet. He’d walked away from the war with a mere concussion and some pretty nasty scrapes._

_“Here’s to us!” Colin raised his glass proudly above his head, clanking it hard against Blaise’s beside him._

_“You’ve got to be the corniest bloke in all of Scotland.” Blaise drank from his glass, his eyes flicked to his best friend’s wife. It was brief, but the level of guilt he felt from a single glance was enough to cause a furrow in his brow._

_“Fine.” Colin had sat up in his seat, unlooping his arm from Astoria’s shoulder and straightened his posture. “Here’s to your conquering victory in-” Colin nearly dropped the pint from his hand, falling forward with a blank stare._

_“Colin?” Blaise was there immediately, holding his friend steady at his center. “C’mon, Creevey! Come back to us, man.”_

_Colin blinked, jerking himself from Blaise’s hold and knocking his elbow into Astoria’s shoulder in the process. He had been nestled between the two at the booth but was now staggering to flee, shoving Blaise out of the way as he made to stand._

_“What is all this? Get away from me!”_

_“Colin, please sit down!” Astoria was reaching across the table, her eyes glistening with unfallen tears._

_Blaise gripped his friend tight around his middle as he guided him from the pub, Astoria trailing behind to pay the tab and gather their things. He had been hopeful, his friend showing promise for months without an episode, but tonight had been a relapse. They were minor at first, coming and going as swiftly as a hiccup or small stumble, Colin forgetting minimal things such as where he placed his keys or forgetting the time. But as the months dragged on, he began forgetting names and addresses he'd known for months. Tonight was different, his reaction to his wife and best friend was though he’d never seen them before at all, and Blaise worried his friend was slipping further away._

_____

_Blaise met Colin and Astoria at St Mungos the following morning. Colin greeted him with a lasting hug and an apology on his lips. They’d met with the mediwitches, the ones who had provided aid before, but the scans and results were nothing what they had hoped for. Blaise had pulled the lead mediwitch aside and pleaded for a solution, something stronger to help keep his friend's mind intact._

_“The poulces simply aren’t working anymore Mr Zabini. There isn’t anything more we can do for him.” The older witch placed a comforting hand upon Blaise’s arm. “The best thing you can do for him now is be there to remind him of your love and friendship because he won’t be able to remember on his own.”_

_He met Astoria’s eyes, though with the look on her face he’d wished he hadn’t._

_____

_Colin met Blaise outside his flat. It was a tradition of sorts, the two of them sitting together and drinking whatever beer they could scrounge up in their iceboxes. Blaise wondered how many more opportunities he would have with his friend like this. He had more pulses over the next several days, overlapping his memories and temporarily erasing parts of the friendship he and Blaise had built. They clanked their glasses together, sitting back and enjoying the cool summer evening._

_“It’s always been different with her hasn’t it?” Colin was watching the stars as he spoke, his expression calm and unreadable._

_“What are you on about, mate?” Blaise leant back in his chair, resting his ankle across his knee. These get-togethers often spilled over into lengthy confessions of their pasts and emotions, but his question’s meaning was lost on Blaise._

_“Astoria.”_

_Blaise flinched, nearly choking on his beer. “What about her?”_

_“Oh come on, I’m losing my mind, I'm not blind.” Colin was looking at him now, his eyes full and his heart open. Blaise could have sworn he saw a quiver in his friend’s lips._

_“Don’t say that.”_

_“Well, it’s the truth isn’t it?” Colin sat back relaxing his shoulders. He was staring up at the sky again. “Maybe this is how it should be.”_

_“Stop it.” Blaise stood abruptly, pacing the balcony with his ale in his hand. His friend was talking nonsense and he cursed himself for hoping one of his pulses would make him forget this conversation entirely. Blaise hated to think how his friend was deteriorating before him, the torment of the facade from him appearing perfectly normal making the whole situation all the more tragic._

_“Love will always find a way.” Blaise spun to face him at his friend's words, Colin’s eyes reflecting the stars as a single tear threatened to fall. When he blinked back at Blaise it finally did. He’d shared something with Colin, a friendship he’d never imagined could be possible, realizing no matter which side of the war you chose to be on, no one leaves unscathed. Astoria was someone Blaise had always been able to confide in, and while he stole an occasional look now and then, it ended there._

_“Not even wolves prey on their best friend’s wife, Colin.”_

_“No, I know but here me out-”_

_“No! This discussion is over. Period.” Blaise buried his face in his hands._

_“It’s killing me to see what this is doing to you both. At the very least, promise you’ll obliviate me completely if it goes too far.”_

_“Are you serious right now?” He was in Colin’s face, angry at this conversation and crushed with the situation. “She’ll never be able to let you go, mate. And quite frankly I’ve grown pretty bloody attached to your arse myself.”_

_“Please, Blaise.” Colin’s eyes were pleading and Blaise was unable to deny his friend this final wish. Reluctantly, Blaise nodded and sealed the deal._

_____

_Colin had gotten worse the weeks that followed, the pulses coming more quickly and lasting hours opposed to minutes, the pendulum on Colin’s life ticking away. Blaise held Astoria in his arms as she cried, she was strong but the dread of Colin’s fate was stronger. He realized what Colin had meant, seeing the young Mrs Creevey weeping the way she was triggered the need to honor Colin’s wishes - he just hated knowing he had to be the one to do it._

_“Tori, I need to tell you something.”_

_The grueling conversation with Astoria was worse than he could have imagined, her cries wrenching at his heartstrings in ways he hadn’t prepared for. When he’d finally settled her down, pulling a blanket to her chin as she slept weeping on the couch, he peered over at the side table. Colin had always said a picture was worth so much more than the image it captured, and Blaise scanned the photos now fully understanding what that meant._

_He entered the room where Colin had been sedated, his friend’s breathing calm. It reminded him of when he’d first come into St Mungo’s after the war and Blaise’s eyes began to burn. Colin was the only friend to have seen him cry, and the git never let him live it down. He smiled to himself at the memory, remembering how he’d playfully admitted the same about himself and how he struggled with similar vices. They couldn’t have been more different - the pureblood elite and the muggleborn commoner - but they’d faced things neither of them would have been able to conquer alone. Blaise sat at Colin’s bedside the same way he did after the war, reminiscing over their fondest times and their worst. He could feel his hands balling into fists._

_“Damn you, Colin.” Blaise couldn’t control the shattered clash of emotions, anger and heartbreak; fury and fear. The wall beside him crumbled under the pressure of his fist, the pain numbing at his knuckles. He’d be nothing he was now had he not met Colin the way he did, following a mother who chased nightmares and a lord who created them. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to let him go. “I love you, brother.”_

∞

Blaise walked along a pebbled beach, exhaling at the view of the sun melting into the waterline and colliding with the sea. He peered over at the mousy haired man fumbling with his camera, struggling with the lens. He breathed a smile, dipping his head as he joined the man at his side.

“You know what you’re doing with that thing?” Blaise was watching the water as he spoke, but he saw the man’s head jerk in his direction..

“Beg your pardon?”

“It’s just you seem to be having some trouble is all.” Blaise had turned to face him, pointing at the camera.

“Yeah, I can’t seem to get the bloody thing to focus. I-” The man shifted his weight and narrowed his eyes, a lopsided grin on his face. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

“Blaise.” He offered his hand, smiling as the man balanced the camera and compartments in his grip to shake it. “New camera?”

“Colin and uh, not really?” Colin’s smile widened. “You’ll think I’m crazy if I told you.”

“Try me.” 

“Well, apparently I love photography. I just can’t bloody remember why.” Colin shrugged as he spoke, his hair falling in his face.

“Love will always find a way.”

∞


End file.
